Moving Home: A Testimony

It’s been almost two years now, since I left New Hampshire in a van given to me by God and His angels, helping me to make it home to Olympia, Washington after The Car That Ran on Prayers was finally laid to rest in Manchester in late June 2017. I recently reflected on my Testimony about how God guided me home.

The Whisper: A Baby’s on the Way

The Spirit’s whisper was like a hope I dared not have…my daughter and her husband had been trying for years and wanted a baby so much, was the whisper I could feel just hope?

“The Spirit speaks words that we feel…”

Go Home, it said…Go back to where you came from…Go Home to Washington…There’s a baby on the way…you’ll hear around your birthday…Have a home established by October…

I shared the feeling with my daughter and my mother and perhaps a special friend along the way on a Fourth of July birthday…but for the most part I kept it quiet. After all, it was just a hope…right?

grandtwins celebrate their birthday in july

Rayden, a “grandtwin” and Grandma knocking heads

The hope of a grandchild via my daughter was not a substitute for my grandchildren already here. My twin granddaughters were celebrating their 9th birthday in mid-July and I wanted to be there. They had recently moved and the area they now lived in was not only familiar to me, but one I wouldn’t mind living in myself.

The girls were excited to see how much my puppy had grown in the six months since we’d been to the area and they loved the seashells from the coast of Florida, but questions remained about where I would live.

Priorities: Finding a Therapist

When I arrived in Olympia after a long road trip with some very special rest stops in places with names like Nauvoo and Kirtland, then with friends in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado then in Eastern Oregon, I was ready to settle down. Unfortunately, my hometown had been undergoing quite a bit of growth and there was no room at any proverbial Inn. The Pacific Northwest’s occupancy rate for low-income apartments was approaching 98%. There was nothing open.

One of my more memorable stops was a session at the Nauvoo temple ending around sunset

I stayed with a friend, then camped a bit. For a few of the hotter days, the dogs and I got a hotel room…but as I attended church with the Olympia 4th Ward, I prayed for God to tell me where I could find a therapist who was female, specialized in my rare condition AND was a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Although that may sound like a tall order, as a person with a severe mental disorder who also believes heavily in the principle of personal revelation, it is imperative that I have a therapist who understands the basic tenants of our church.

God listens to my prayers. A woman about my age or perhaps a couple of years older sat down next to me and I sparked up a conversation. Turned out she was the Stake Relief Society President and was giving a talk that day. I thought to myself, it’s always my luck to sit next to a Stake official…I had no idea who she was and who she knew. After her talk and Sacrament meeting coming to a close, we continued our conversation. For some reason, I shared with her my diagnosis and challenge of finding a therapist with that specialty.

Black Labrador dog looking out of a window of a blue tent into a mossy forest scene
Ruger Bear loved Camping in the Olympic Forest

The Relief Society President shared that her occupation was that of a therapist, and she personally and professionally was aware of a colleague who specialized in my disorder who was, in fact, also female and a church member. I asked for her contact information.

When I first called Dr. S, I was discouraged by the message that she was not taking new clients, but was impressed to leave a message with my details and diagnosis.

The next day, I received a call from her office asking for more information. They were able to schedule me an appointment in the next week. That appointment came quickly and I loved her.

Once Dr. S was on board, I asked her about her Ward…it turned out she belonged to the same one as my granddaughters! Seriously?!

Full Circle

Throughout this time, I kept going by an apartment complex I rented a unit in when I first moved out of my mom’s home as a young adult. I loved the units, having assigned parking spaces, a washer and dryer in each unit and a fireplace in each as well.

The vampire threat was high in Forks

Late in August, smoke from forest fires overwhelmed the area. My asthma was insane. I couldn’t breathe. I heard a whisper from Holy Spirit reminding me of a gift card I was given for my graduation a few months before. It seemed perfect, I just finished my final undergrad class on August 20th, I would take that gift card and follow the Holy Ghost’s suggestion of a short road trip around “The Loop” of the Olympia Peninsula and out of the smoke, before checking out the apartment complex at the beginning of September to see if there had been any notices for one-bedrooms becoming available.

Forks and the Dosewallips river were gorgeous. The dogs ran on the beach and I tried to plakate my anxiety. I shared time with friends on the Hood Canal, reminding me of a time long ago with my grandparents. All too soon, it was time to head back to find out if anyone was moving out of a one-bedroom apartment or if I was going to have to expand my searching.

I followed The Spirit’s promptings to the letter on that morning. I remember stopping for a few minutes and talking with the grandtwin’s other grandma…then telling her it was “time to go.”

When I walked into the office, my hopes were high. I was not disappointed. The next few days were full of anxious interactions, but by September 20th, I was holding a key in my hand.

But wait, I hadn’t even seen the apartment I applied for!

Housekeys, a concept I had not held in my hand in 7.5 years

On the afternoon of September 20th, 2017, exactly seven and a half years TO THE DAY from the day I became homeless, I held a key in my hand to an apartment.

I followed the assistant manager to the building. To my relief, she was going down the short staircase to the bottom apartment instead of up to either of the second or third floor. I wouldn’t know just how much of a blessing that was until a few months later when I became wheelchair-bound (but that’s another story…).

A Birthday Announcement

Now that I was in the northwest, visiting my daughter at her office was possible. Since her office was next to a physician of mine, it became easy and fun for a few months. During one of these visits, my daughter shared a secret that she and her husband would not make public until the week of my October birthday: They were expecting a baby. Finally.

Newborn infant laying in a baby warmer with a diaper and a cord clamp on a white baby blanket with blue and pink stripes
Jaina Anita Ellen, my 4th grandchild

I happened to be in Seattle visiting my brother, with my mom in late May 2018 when we got the call that my daughter was in labor and on the way to the hospital.

Their precious daughter, Jaina, would be born just after midnight, May 22nd, about a year and a few weeks after I first felt her presence in my personal revelation. The knowledge she was on her way allowed me to prepare myself to be a better grandma for all of my grandchildren.

Reflecting

Two years later, I am still blown away by the blessings showered upon me by God. I still listen to His promptings, and there are many. Few promptings are as profound as being rehomed after 7.5 years of homelessness, full-circle into my first home as an adult with the full mental health support I desperately required just in time for the birth of my fourth grandchild.

God is so good.

A mantle full of gratitude

Following Him

When 2019 began, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints began using a new tool for their scripture studies, a book with the title Come Follow Me.

A simple notebook-sized paperback book divided into weekly sections with room to write notes and guidance and prompts to study The New Testament, the section of the Scriptures assigned to members for 2019 study.

Sprinkled heavily throughout this book is artwork of a quality that made me want to hang the book on the wall! I was pleasantly surprised to see the artwork could be printed out for Family Home Evening personal use and purchased on the church’s store for formal display outside of lessons!

As a single disabled woman who lives alone with her dogs, I probably have a different schedule than most people. If I pull out my Come Follow Me book with my Bible in the middle of the day when it is nice and quiet, I am easily directed to my area of study. Interruptions happen, and using the book it is easy to return to my place after.

The paperback is not the only version available, Come Follow Me is also available digitally on the Gospel Library app as well as on The Church’s website.

As a disabled person, it is never easy for me to attend church. There are times that the tasks that I would need to complete to go into the building are too much for me physically or mentally. It has been during these times when I have appreciated the Come Follow Me program the most. The respect that our Prophet has for the members of our church with this program feels wonderful. I am comforted to have an outlined path of study even for those days I’m not able to make it to classes.

As a convert who often wishes I had been a member of The Church during my high school years so I would have had an opportunity to attend seminary, the Come Follow Me program gives me a bit more of guidance in my studies that I have yearned for.

I look forward to following Him more and seeing how this Come Follow Me program develops!

I know I’m Irish…

…but every St. Patrick’s Day I wonder from who and where in Ireland.
My first estimate from my Ancestry DNA test

When my daughter and her husband bought me a DNA test for my birthday a few years ago, I was thrilled to confirm that I was almost as Irish as an old boyfriend had though (he said I looked a lot like one of his relatives, still in Ireland). That made me happy.

The combination of my (once) dark hair and blue eyes with red-headed glow-in-the-dark skin, are some of my most striking features. It was easy to fall into the “goth” fashion during my teenage years and young adulthood.
I have loved my “Irishness”ever since I first learned of my heritage, but I had no idea where in Ireland my family originated.

One of my paternal great-grandfather’s names is “Foley,” which seems like a simple link to my Irish blood, right? Not so much. I have been unable to find any records of the original Mr. Foley who immigrated to the United States. Family rumor says that I have him and his (wife?) to thank for my native blood. Mr. Foley reportedly married a woman of Aboriginal American descent, who belonged to the Cheyenne Nation.

My furthest ancestor on the Foley line who I am able to identify is Pleasant Foley, my second-great-grandfather on my father’s mother’s father’s side. If his father came from Ireland as rumored, he would be one of three of my third great-grandparents to come from the emerald isle.

Sarah Thornhill, my daughter of Henry and Rebecca

Sarah Thornhill, my third great-grandmother, also on my father’s side, but this time on his father’s side, was born in Ireland in 1828. Many sources confirm that fact. I have been yet unable to find where in Ireland she was born, but her parents left Ireland after some of their children were born and settled in England. Her father, Henry Thornhill, was born in County Fermanagh in Ireland, but is laid to rest in Manchester, England (not too far from where a Facebook friend of mine lives!)

Although I’ve been unable to find a surname for Sarah Thornhill’s mother, “Rebecca Thornhill” was born in 1808 in Londonderry, Ireland. Again, she is laid to rest in their adopted Manchester.

Margaret Thornhill Walsh (my great-grandmother) and her sister.

 

Sarah Thornhill immigrated to Canada. Her death record indicates that she died at age 50, on 15 April 1878, six years after her husband, John Walsh passed away. I found her cause of death oddly familiar: “Constipation of the bowels.” Many things seem to have been inherited from my Irish ancestors…

John Walsh, Sarah’s husband, was born in Birr, County Offaly, Ireland in 1812. His father was possibly Tom Walsh (with names like “John” and “Tom” without personal accounts, it is difficult to discern if it is actually my ancestor), and John’s mother was most likely Ellin Muleahy, both who lived all of their lives in Ireland.

John and Sarah (Thornhill) Walsh made their home in York in Ontario Canada and both passed away in their 50s. Even though their deaths were over a century ago, as a 52-year-old woman, it causes me to reflect.

The other side of my father’s father’s Irish line are the Cullens. Yes, I was more than mildly amused when this ancestral surname was co-opted by Twilight’s writer as the vampire clan’s chosen surname.

Thomas Cullen, born between 1802-1805 in Strokestown, County Roscommon, Ireland was possibly the son of Patrick Cullen (1783-1865) and Bridgide Hill or McGinn. Again, some of the details have been difficult to nail down. But what seems clear is that County Roscommon can be added to the counties from which I descend. Thomas is my fourth great-grandfather.

My fourth great-grandmother, Thomas’s wife, was Jane Bentley (1805-1881) from County Longford. Her parents were Christopher Bentley and Frances Cox.


Jane Bentley (1805-1881), my fourth Great-Grandmother

My mother’s line has been a part of the building up of the United States of America since the early 1600s, so attempting to find her Irish lines was a bit more difficult. However, I was able to find a few who were born in Ireland in the 1700s.

Here is an interesting fact: My father’s Irish lines emigrated to the American Continent in the 1800s, and my Irish lines on Ancestry seem (30%) stable, but those parts that have changed (both my estimate and my mother’s Ancestry DNA estimate changed after our tests), seem to be from the Irish lines that emigrated in the 1700s. Ancestry is now calling those lines “English,” but they are not.

Isaac Highley was (most likely) born to Thomas Highley and Margaret in Ireland in 1772. He is my 5th great-grandfather on my mother’s mother’s side. The Highleys married into the Parrs married into the Savage line on my mother’s line.

When Sara Christena Parr (my great-grandmother) married William Duncan Savage, she added more Irish into my mother’s line. William Duncan’s great-grandfather, William, my fourth great-grandfather, was born in Ireland in 1797.

William Savage and his wife Harriet Eisnaugle, married and raised their family with much of my Irish ancestors in the Ohio valley before the family moved to Wisconsin.

Ancestry.com updated both mine and my mom’s DNA and our Irish turned English!

Although my mother’s Irish line has now been replaced by a generic term on Ancestry.com, this is one day that I would like to pick out those particular ancestors of hers that were born in Ireland and chose America to start over. William Savage and Isaac Highley chose a different life for their families and for generations to come.

As someone who has known that her heritage included Irish from the time she could look in a mirror, it is WONDERFUL to have County names to associate my heritage with. I now understand that I not only come from Ireland, but I come from County Roscommon, County Longford, County Fermanagh, County Londonderry and Birr in County Offaly.

Somehow, knowing all of this means a little more on this St. Patrick’s Day.

Note: This article was simultaneously published on MaggieSlighte.com by the author

Mother, Another Name for Creator

When our Prophet talks about us “all being mothers,” what I feel him saying is that we are all creators.

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From Mother’s Milk by ~Rachel Hunt Steenblik

In her book of poetry, Mother’s Milk, Rachel Hunt Steenblik opens up her heart and her yearning for a Mother in Heaven, a feeling many of us have felt. As a woman who has run home to her own earthly mother more times than I can count, the yearning for an acknowledgment of our Eternal Mother is something that I feel more intensely than I usually admit.IMG_20170430_100659.jpg

I have belonged to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for six years coming up next month. During this time, no matter what Ward or Branch I have attended, each and every year I have joined in the singing the one hymn in the hymnal that recognizes our Mother in Heaven every year on Mother’s Day.

In 1845, Eliza R. Snow (Relief Society President 1867-1887) wrote the hymn, “O My Father,” penning the most well-known reference to Mother God.  Written only months after Prophet Jospeph Smith Jr.’s death, it has been speculated that the Prophet may have taught of a Mother in Heaven either implicitly or to limited audiences.20171105_123208_HDR.jpg

It doesn’t surprise me that the hymn we sing on Mother’s Day or the book of poetry worshiping our Almighty Mother were written by mothers. It also didn’t surprise me to listen to Sheri Dew say “Aren’t We All Mothers,” or President Nelson in his address to the October 2018 General Conference profess that he became a doctor, “Because I could not choose to be a mother.”

President Nelson went on to say last October, ” Every woman is a mother by virtue of her eternal divine destiny.”

When I listen to childless women and their frustration with some of these quotes and standpoints, I contemplate if they were to substitute the word creator for mother if there would still be offense taken?

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The Cullens, one of my ancestral families

Our society, and in particular some of our cultures, tend to pass judgment on what types of parents we are, how many children we produce and how we choose to raise them. How we judge one another trickles down into how we feel about ourselves. When we internalize external judgments, we diminish our own divinity.

Our role as creators is divine. Our Mother in Heaven is just as important as our Father in Heaven.

Elder Erastus Snow stated, “There can be no God except that he is composed of the man and woman united, and there is not in all the eternities that exist, or ever will be a God in any other way,” a statement, according to the Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven, that has been reaffirmed by several General Authorities.

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Are not we all mothers? We ARE all creators. Whether we choose to partner with our Heavenly Parents and create human bodies to be populated with souls to come to earth or we partner with them to create technology, books, music or other artwork or perhaps we create a cure for a previously incurable disease; we are ALL creators. We are ALL mothers.

Thank you, Mother and Father, for the gift of creation…for the gift of motherhood.

What the Mother Taught Me
Creation is
more than
procreation.
It is snow, birds,
trees, moon,
and song.
~Rachel Hunt Steenblik

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The Blessings of Family History Work

My Bishop gave me the above topic for a talk in Sacrament service today. What follows is the talk I gave…. Please enjoy! (If you would rather watch me give this talk, please click here for the YouTube link!)

Hi! My name is Maggie (actually “Margaret”) Slighte. I am one of many Margarets in my family. Since both of my grandmother’s names were “Margaret,” I don’t think that my parents had much of a choice when naming me. I loved both of my “Margaret” grandma’s and my “Margaret” aunt and I am happy to continue the tradition.

In February 2013, my interest in my family history was rekindled. I had started working on family history over ten years earlier, but divorce had relieved me of all
of my possessions and the ten boxes of family history work never would find its way back to me. However, in early 2013, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands and a new-to-me netbook that connected to an internet full of newly indexed
documents. (A HUGE “THANK YOU” to anyone who has ever indexed!)

It was at this time that I remember signing up for an LDS account, with a strange fluttering in my heart that made me somewhat upset that my access was in any way limited. Yet I had no interest at that time in being a member of the church…or so I
thought.

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Three years later, in the spring of 2016, I found myself in the Snowflake Temple President’s office discussing with Elder Bradley Foster the circumstance in 2013 when I was FIRST impressed to search out my ancestors.

Elder Foster was looking for something or another in the Temple President’s desk when I arrived as directed to be set apart as an office worker at the Snowflake Temple. When he asked me about my conversion, I was not shy about the fact I feel
my ancestors brought me to the church. He agreed.

I am Blessed. When I received the call from the Bishop early this week about this talk, and he told that he wanted me to speak today about the blessings we receive when we perform Family History work for our ancestors, I remembered that was precisely the subject of Elder Renlund’s talk at General Conference only two weeks ago!!

In my preparation for this talk, I studied not only Elder Renlund’s talk at General Conference, but also all of those given at RootsTech 2018.

Some of the SPECIFIC blessings that Elder Renlund stated are available to us when we work on Family History and Temple work are:

• Increased understanding of the Savior and His atoning sacrifice;
• Increased influence of the Holy Ghost to feel strength and direction for our own lives;
• Increased faith, so that conversion to the Savior becomes deep and abiding;
• Increased ability and motivation to learn and repent because of an understanding of who we are, where we come from, and a clearer vision of
where we are going;
• Increased refining, sanctifying, and moderating influences in our hearts;
• Increased joy through an increased ability to feel the love of the Lord;
• Increased family blessings, no matter our current, past, or future family situation or how imperfect our family tree may be;
• Increased love and appreciation for ancestors and living relatives, so we no longer feel alone;
• Increased power to discern that which needs healing and thus, with the Lord’s help, serve others;
• Increased protection from temptations and the intensifying influence of the adversary; and
• Increased assistance to mend troubled, broken, or anxious hearts and make the wounded whole.

You see, the promised blessings aren’t JUST for the ADULTS on this side of the veil. As President Eyring has stated: The blessings are for EVERYONE! Everyone: Children, youth, seniors and active adults!

Children LOVE to hear stories about their families. Specific blessings are waiting for our youth as we introduce them (or sometimes in the case of electronics, they introduce US) to our ancestors. It is just as essential for us to share with them the importance of the Ordinances involved in Family History work.

As Sister Jones stated at RootsTech this year, Studies show when youth are involved in family history work, an intergenerational consciousness is created that helps in all aspects of family interaction. Children can have an active roll in
encouraging the work to be performed inspiring life-long Gospel-centered habits.
Children with experience in family history are EXCITED to go to the Temple when they reach their 12th birthday. They have gotten to know the ancestors they have helped to discover and are invested in the Ordinances they help to perform.

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I am personally looking VERY forward to two and a half years from now when my
granddaughters are 12 and will be eligible for a limited-use recommend. However, I realize that the time to continue to teach them about family history is now.

I remember when I was working at the Snowflake temple. New patrons would come up to the window and ask what they were supposed to do with the cards after all of the Ordinances were performed. I answered, “that’s your souvenir for all the hard work you did.” As I look back through my box of cards of completed ordinances, I am reminded that my first time at the temple to perform Baptisms was only three weeks after my Baptism. I took all of my grandparents and my deceased father with me to the Temple.

The Spirit of Elijah touched me early in my conversion. My heart was turned towards my father. And towards his father. My father’s father was a man who had left mortality in a cloud of PTSD after world war II. I felt his desire to have his work done when I glimpsed his face in a photograph for the first time in my life at a family history center only 3 days after my Baptism. I was excited to take my newly-discovered grandfather with the rest of my grandparents and deceased father to the Temple when I visited for the first time 3 weeks after my Baptism.

The way I looked at it, I may not have much family (besides my granddaughters) in the church who are alive, but I will make sure there are plenty to meet me when I cross over!

It is due of the blessings I received after that particular trip that I KNOW that Elder
Renlund is telling the truth when he states that our lives will be abundantly blessed
when we spend time performing this work. My relationship with my father

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was notoriously abusive. I ceased contact with him when I was a teenager, and I was relieved when I learned of his death 17 years after I had done so. But he was one of the first people I chose to take to the temple. I can’t express the amount of forgiveness that act has allowed and in fact, caused. I never thought I could see that man as a child of God. But God does.

Elder Foster stated at Roots Tech this year that he has learned that if you want to endear someone to you, do something nice for their children. Then he went on to say, “imagine how Heavenly Father will think about you when you help gather His children?”

As much as our ancestors are OUR family, they are ALSO each one a child of our Heavenly Father. Sometimes our memories aren’t the best. This temporal life is hard and full of drama and pain. Family history work is one way we can put our troubles aside and be one step closer to being like our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Let us all take upon ourselves President Nelson’s challenge to “Prayerfully consider what kind of sacrifice preferably a sacrifice of time that we can each make to spend more time working on Family History and Temple work this year.”
I have an abundant testimony of Temple and Family History work. Although most of my non-LDS family still don’t understand why I go to the temple to do work for
our ancestors, the stories I can share with them about our mutual family has softened their heart towards me as a member of the church. I remain hopeful they will join me here as well.

I am one of the Temple and Family history consultants called to assist Ward members with their Family history. Please don’t be shy about talking to me about
how to get started on YOUR Family History and Temple work!
I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Five Years In The Church

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Five years ago I made one of the most significant decisions of my life. Last year on the anniversary, I not only wrote about making the resolution to be Baptized as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but I also made a video about my choice while I was waiting for an evening session at the Columbia, South Carolina Temple.

Today finds me a member of the same Ward as my granddaughters and their other grandma. We “sister grandmas” bookend the girls in Sacrament service every Sunday we can, and I have to admit that I look forward to Sundays every day of the week and have ever since I made the decision to be Baptized. Now I even get grandkid cuddles as a bonus! The opportunity to share my faith and our history with these children

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is a logical extension of my new calling as a “Temple and Family History Consultant.”

This month one of the two Sister Missionaries who taught me returned to Washington. I have had several chances to visit with the Sister formerly known as Johnson and meet her family since her mission ended. During this short visit, I even had the opportunity to meet her daughter!

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Sister Frandson and I finally had the opportunity to go through the Logan Temple together last year when I was on my trip home from the east coast. I previously had a chance to meet her family as well. I love both my Sister Missionaries families as much as I love the sisters themselves.

One sister is missing. On this occasion, I have found Sister Ashley Lloyd on my mind more than ever. A beautiful young lady with the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen, I can’t hear the words “I’m so grateful” without remembering her bare her testimony to me during my lessons.

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Sisters Johnson and Lloyd

I am so grateful for all three of the sister missionaries who taught me the Gospel of Jesus Christ five years ago. They helped me change my life for the better. I love catching up with them on social media, and I try to always keep them and their families in my prayers….especially the one who I’ve lost touch with. I know God has all the hairs on our heads numbered. He knows exactly where she is and what she is doing and how His blessings can help. It is for those blessings I pray.

My life is different than it has ever been. I look to God first. I’m not perfect, and I know it, but I have an opportunity to repent and ask God for forgiveness when I know I have done wrong and I learn how to do better. I am so grateful for this new life and the knowledge of the God who provided it and the Savior who rescued me.

Flirting to Convert?

I’ve been divorced for a year now. During that time, I have not dated at all. I have not entertained the advances from any man. It’s been nice to be single, I enjoy working on the issues that I have and would like to get to a more stable point in my recovery (from past relationships and childhood trauma) before becoming involved in another relationship. All of that being said, my “plans” were dealt a bit of a perspective blow this week when a very attractive man started talking to me with grand intentions.

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Then I began to ponder: What about my dreams of a “Temple Marriage?” What about Eternity? I KNOW I’m not only getting involved for time when I do marry again. What? I’m already talking about being married again? Yes. Why else would I even date? I believe in chastity before marriage, and I do want to be joined with a partner…eventually. But what about dating a non-Mormon? And what do I feel about these General Conference talks…and even the CONCEPT of “flirting to convert?”

WHY would anyone attempt to change someone else’s heart? What about agency? What about the 11th Article of Faith?

Personally, I had never even considered attempting to persuade another person to change their heart about Heavenly Father and the Gospel of Christ until I met a man who exemplified the teachings and who was not a member. I had really not honestly considered dating anyone who isn’t. I respect the agency of my future-husband and really don’t want to influence that unduly.

I thought back to the talk I had heard in April by Elder Joaquin E. Costa, To the Friends and Investigators of the Church. In this General Conference talk in April 2017, Elder Costa described his (now wife) rejecting his advances and basing her rejection of him on her desire to be an Eternal Family:

She spoke of her goals—of marrying only someone who could take her to the temple, of having an eternal family—and she declined my offer. I wanted to continue the relationship, so I agreed to listen to the missionaries. Is this a good reason to meet with the missionaries? Well, it was for me.

I’m happy that Elder Costa and his wife were able to become a “forever family” together. I’m happy he felt that was his path. But I am uncertain if it is mine to influence another’s faith. I do want to be an Eternal Family. My most fond dreams are in a Temple of God, being sealed to a man who holds The Priesthood.

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I LOVE God, I LOVE Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for the Gift of the Holy Spirit. I’m thankful for the blessings that Heavenly Father brings into my life daily.

I know I must be patient. For now, I will continue to keep my covenants and work on my own issues. I will persevere in my rehabilitation efforts and in becoming the person I want “him” to be with eternally. If “he” is the one, he will understand my dreams. Those people who love me will respect my most fond desires and wishes and will help God make them come true.

Update: For anyone keeping track, this lead to my faith being wielded back at me as a dull knife he named “fairy tale.”

No longer allowing myself to be in a relationship where someone believes it is okay to hurt me, it was called off but we remain friends.